REVIEW: A Minecraft Movie – Not As Bad You Think

So having read and listened to various reviews, I came into A Minecraft Movie expecting the worst. Another film that will send me into a good nap. A film that would have questioned my own existence. The worst thing ever. A crime against humanity.

And I can tell you this. I didn’t have in my bingo card a kids film where two leads do a 69 (sandwich my arse!) in midair to save their lives, a whole crowd at a birthday party of kids would remain mostly silent and that same crowd of kids, parents and couples would all stand up and cheer and clap—yes, you hear that right, cheer AND clap—at the end. And no, they didn’t do this in a cynical way. While we weren’t all laughing our asses off, I’m not going to lie, this thing got a few good chuckles out of me.

Starting off with the positives, Momoa was ridiculously amusing. I remember seeing the trailer and his whole look seemed very dumb. But within the film’s context, it makes more sense. Black was operating on autopilot, but even so he managed to be entertaining. Echoing what many have said, Coolidge was a riot; she also seemed to be playing many of the roles we know (and many love) her for, and she delivered. Wish we got more of that. That credit scene was fun. The visuals also were pretty great, from the creatures to the overall world. I’ve never played Minecraft and only know it by cultural osmosis, but if anything, this made me maybe give it a shot. But yeah, not sure if they were CGI or practical or a blend of the two, but I liked how some of the creatures felt like puppets or someone in a suit. I don’t know; I dug it. And Mark M.’s score was solid enough.

As for the negatives? The writing was pretty mid. Not sure if it’s fair or not, but I kept mentally comparing it to <i>Jumanji<i>, and this often felt like what the movie would end up like if it didn’t have a good cast, direction and writing. The world-building and all was good, but the script was very thin and full of cliché. The addition of Minecraft rules, characters and whatnot helped a little, giving it a fresh spin to the formula, but not enough for it to not feel trite. Like I said, Black and Momoa were great, but the rest of the cast, including our kid, were just… there. Especially our two female leads didn’t really bring that much to the table. Danielle gets to stand out the most because of the random stuff she’s asked to do, but Myers failed to leave much of an impression. Hansen was okay, I suppose. And also, while I liked a lot of the visuals, maybe it was me, but you feel these people are in front of a green screen whenever you see them running away from something. Maybe it was me, but they often felt like they were all like “static jogging.” They were supposedly running, but their surroundings remained still. Not sure if that makes sense?

All in all, not the abomination everyone makes it out to be, but not a great film either. With its box office and my weird crowd clapping and cheering at the end plus laughing at some of the jokes, it’s clear there’s an audience out there. I can’t say I will recommend watching it in theaters, at least if you are interested in and/or get a good crowd. If the idea of Jumanji from eBay sounds like your thing, give it a shot.